Dad Versus…The Santa “Death Train”

Wake up…Saturday. The Machine is again working the weekend away. Snuggle with Little Human for a bit. Little Human is extra-snuggly today. Love extra-snuggly Little Human. Let Little Human dress herself. Little Human never disappoints. Little Human runs downstairs and looks utterly homeless. But cute. Feed Homeless Little Human. Take Homeless Little Human across the street to Tin Cup’s and wash my car. Just kind of show up. Tin Cup has car washing down to a science.

Tell Tin Cup about interesting afternoon with another neighbor, Hi-Def and JD. Came home yesterday to an awning tent setup over Hi-Def and JD’s SUV with four fairly frantic people surrounding vehicle. Mosey on over. The SUV inadvertently locked itself. With a dog inside. A dachshund named Tampa. Two folks are trying to break-into the vehicle to save Tampa. It is eighty-degrees and sunny. The other two, Hi-Def and JD are frantically calling people and talking to Tampa to unlock the door. I would be frantic as well if my kid/loved one was locked in a hot car. I get it. Try to calm frantic folks. Whip out phone, Google locksmith, find one 2 miles away, they show up seven minutes later. A long seven minutes. Talk Hi-Def out of breaking window with hammer. Try to calm JD. Tampa looking at everyone like we are insane. Tampa is not in distress…everyone else is. Locksmith shows up. Less than a minute later, Tampa is free. Crisis averted. Love my neighbors…always excitement or something to do.

Set out to run 10-15 miles when The Machine finally gets home. Training for 50K ultra-marathon is no joke. It is nice and hot by this time. I did not fuel properly for this run. Was pretty sure I was going to call a taxi at one point. Pushed through for 5. One third. Yikes. But, live to fight another day. Interesting how mental running is at times. You think about weird things. Weird. Immediately have to shower and get ready for a crazy day. For today is our neighborhood Christmas Santa party…complete with the “Death Train.”

There is fair warning from the neighborhood about the Death Train on Facebook. I could not visualize this from the description though. See Death Train in real life. Holy smokes. Picture a fairly large kids’ train with the ability to go really fast. And by really fast, I mean fast. Five cars. A lot of kids buckled in looking very nervous. Parents look nervous. Consider calling fire department to put them on standby. Miraculously, nobody is injured. Santa comes out so children may sit on his lap. Some children freak out. My Little Human looks freaked out but says she is going to do it. Little Human has freaked out every single year when we do this to her. Santa is pretty scary, I guess. Little Human sits next to Santa. First year of pictures without her screaming bloody murder. Success.

Watching all this unfold in eighty-degree temps and palm trees everywhere is surreal. Plus, I am dehydrated and my feet are not happy. Leave this party. Go to another. Two-year old birthday party. Start drinking heavily. Not water. Become further dehydrated. Awesome. Push through and drink more.  Leave to go to another party. Christmas party for just grown-ups. Fairly certain liver-intolerant neighborhood is trying to execute me. And, I am now running a half-marathon bandit-style with PC in the early morning. Nice. Somehow, babysitter comes back for more after the last disastrous debacle. Communicate more clear/concise instructions to sitter this time. No beads. No Play-doh. No markers. No sugar products. Period. Keep it simple. Consider drinking water. Drink more beer. Tomorrow should be fun…

More to come…

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About Ty Carver

Director, Talent Acquisition| Raycom| 63 TV Stations| 11X Marathoner| Dad| #Jobs| Opinions are mine
This entry was posted in Christmas, Dads, Fathers, Little Human, Marathon Training, Mop, Parenting, Ty Carver, TyCarver and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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